The thin veil between form and formless

Everyone, and everything
Coming and going
Through the veil
This thin invisible whisper
That stands between
This world
And Emptiness
An eternal wheel
Of coming and going
It staggers the mind
And opens the heart
To the personal
It is agony
To the soul
It is exquisite.

I’m So Sorry

I wrote a song recently as a result of something I read that broke me open.
It was the tragic real life tale of a man who lost his wife and her unborn baby, their new born baby and their two other young children, in a car accident when a young man carelessly jumped a red light. The tragedy unfolded as each of them died, one after the other.
The man, who wasn’t in the car, was left alone. Everything gone, everyone gone.
That is as much as I read. I didn’t need the details. It wasn’t about the details. I know he got a huge outpouring of love and I pray that he is able to recover in some way and live a life.

But I was utterly shocked by how shocked he must have been. I simply couldn’t imagine how he felt, or the chasm that must have opened up and swallowed him. It broke my heart open for him, and for all who suffer such tragedy. And then I really saw how true loving almost inevitably comes with great pain. When you truly love, at some point comes the letting go, it is inevitable.

But that is no reason not to love. Love, human or divine, is our greatest blessing and the greatest blessing we can offer the world.

So I wrote a song for him. Here are the lyrics. It is called I’m So Sorry.
I haven’t released the song yet, I am still working on it. When I do I may post it here.

I’m living like a river
Swimming like a stone
Trying to make it homeward
But I’m feeling so alone
My heart is like a whirpool
It’s taking everything
I don’t know what Im doing
I don’t think I can swim

I’m so sorry
It has to be this way

I find it hard to breathe here
Sometimes I think I’ll die
So I reach up to the heavens
And pretend that I can fly
But all I get is falling
Like someone clipped my wings
Down here I’m an angel
Down here the siren sings

I’m so sorry
It has to be this way

It feels like you’re inside me
Your living in my skin
And love is like the ocean
When you let it in
You’ve got to let it drown you
And take your breathe away
And when I heard your story
It made me want to pray

Im so sorry
It has to be this way

Dont you worry
No more

From Being Everywhere To Being Somewhere

Some folks seem to love this life
They relish in the formness of it all
And gather things, and experiences
Like they belong here

Oh! how they like to play

While others, they don’t get along so well
There are some who don’t seem to get on well
At all
In fact they don’t take to being
In form one bit

Not everyone is the same

You see, being consciousness
And finding yourself
In form, even with its sensory delights,
Is not easy
From being everywhere
To suddenly being somewhere
Is tough

And many folks want to fly free
Beyond all this
I can understand that desire

I say liberate now while you wear this coat
Step out of the game
And off the wheel

Only the vastness of spiritual awakening
Can put an end to this endless cycle.

 

 

turned towards god

the cat upstairs is nearing the end of his life
our neighbor asked me to feed him a few times
over the last couple of days

he is very fragile and totters around gently
eats a little and stumbles away

all he seems to want is love
so we just sit and i stroke him
silently

when animals draw near the end
they get very quiet
i saw this look some years ago
with my wife’s mother

it was as though she had turned her face
towards god
and was already leaving us
there was no fear and no regret

there is a certain point
when we remember the formless realm
and prefer it.

LOVE – everything else is a distraction

when it comes
when your time comes
to leave this place
all you will remember is love

not how much love you got
or even the love of someone
but the love deep in your soul and your heart

you may remember
the times you turned away from love
or built a home in fear

and all this may happen
in one moment
as your life flashes
in front of you

it wont matter about your riches or your poverty
your success or failure
your fame or your anonymity
all of this will be rendered as dust

but love will endure because it is everything
which is why it is the hardest truth to fully live

LOVE – everything else is a distraction

dark clouds

there are days
when dark clouds
of despondency
hang overhead
all day they just hang there
taunting me
with their heaviness
threatening rain

all i can really do
is accept them

fighting causes such pain

why should i be cheerful?
what is this expectation
that life is a smile and a laugh?

life is a hard journey
and a cruel test.
when the vast ocean
finds itself
in a tiny jar
it doesn’t complain
but it hurts
to be captured in something so small

why did i come here with no wings?
just these legs
that stick me to the ground

at times
nothingness seems appealing
and then i get yanked back
into the beauty
of all this
and i forget
this despondency

I May Die Laughing and Crying

All we really know is
This one moment in eternity
This raw uncensored experience
That lasts for a breath in
And a breath out
And then
We disappear back
Into emptiness

All we know is
One moment in eternity

Yet we cannot see this preciousness
And we struggle and fight
And sink into our stories

There is no way
I can wrap up the whole of life
Or even try and understand it

Sometimes I just stand in awe
At the whole thing
And at other times
I am filled with an existential misery

The truth is I swing between these poles
Like a crazy trapeze artist.

I may die laughing and crying.

with heart wide open

with his heart wide open
he faced the battlefield
and even though there was death
and suffering all around him
he had made his decision
to never close the door again
and he just allowed it all in

and thus the world destroyed in him
all that was false and defended
until only
the cleanest and purest
kind of love
remained

be kind to your experience

you find me in a moment of sadness
when my heart aches
for those lovers wrenched apart
by fate’s cruel hand

life can be
so very mean
it makes some
thick skinned and they try and
tough it out

but it doesn’t work

we all have to soften eventually
so do it now
better to soften up now
than at the end

be kind to your experience
and hold yourself
gently and lovingly
as you would a child

i can’t see any other way
to get through this.