live from emptiness

peel back the layers of your life
and dare to stare
into the darkness
shine a light upon the shadows
and cast those demons out

if you are willing
unravel everything you have raveled up

you have become complicated and dense
with so many stories
so many conflicting threads
everyone is just so complicated

but the true human being
is one who is very simple and natural
honest and open

the true human being
has undone everything
and made no attempt
to do it all up again

the whole point is to live
from emptiness
that is the most beautiful grace
of all.

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The thin veil between form and formless

Everyone, and everything
Coming and going
Through the veil
This thin invisible whisper
That stands between
This world
And Emptiness
An eternal wheel
Of coming and going
It staggers the mind
And opens the heart
To the personal
It is agony
To the soul
It is exquisite.

I’m So Sorry

I wrote a song recently as a result of something I read that broke me open.
It was the tragic real life tale of a man who lost his wife and her unborn baby, their new born baby and their two other young children, in a car accident when a young man carelessly jumped a red light. The tragedy unfolded as each of them died, one after the other.
The man, who wasn’t in the car, was left alone. Everything gone, everyone gone.
That is as much as I read. I didn’t need the details. It wasn’t about the details. I know he got a huge outpouring of love and I pray that he is able to recover in some way and live a life.

But I was utterly shocked by how shocked he must have been. I simply couldn’t imagine how he felt, or the chasm that must have opened up and swallowed him. It broke my heart open for him, and for all who suffer such tragedy. And then I really saw how true loving almost inevitably comes with great pain. When you truly love, at some point comes the letting go, it is inevitable.

But that is no reason not to love. Love, human or divine, is our greatest blessing and the greatest blessing we can offer the world.

So I wrote a song for him. Here are the lyrics. It is called I’m So Sorry.
I haven’t released the song yet, I am still working on it. When I do I may post it here.

I’m living like a river
Swimming like a stone
Trying to make it homeward
But I’m feeling so alone
My heart is like a whirpool
It’s taking everything
I don’t know what Im doing
I don’t think I can swim

I’m so sorry
It has to be this way

I find it hard to breathe here
Sometimes I think I’ll die
So I reach up to the heavens
And pretend that I can fly
But all I get is falling
Like someone clipped my wings
Down here I’m an angel
Down here the siren sings

I’m so sorry
It has to be this way

It feels like you’re inside me
Your living in my skin
And love is like the ocean
When you let it in
You’ve got to let it drown you
And take your breathe away
And when I heard your story
It made me want to pray

Im so sorry
It has to be this way

Dont you worry
No more

don’t put on the mask

today

just allow yourself

to go naked

don’t reach out

like you always do

and put on the mask

just go naked

and shameless

raw and free

let down your guard

and let it all

flow in and out

let us, you and i,

be the only ones awake

in a sea of dreamers

and actors.

turned towards god

the cat upstairs is nearing the end of his life
our neighbor asked me to feed him a few times
over the last couple of days

he is very fragile and totters around gently
eats a little and stumbles away

all he seems to want is love
so we just sit and i stroke him
silently

when animals draw near the end
they get very quiet
i saw this look some years ago
with my wife’s mother

it was as though she had turned her face
towards god
and was already leaving us
there was no fear and no regret

there is a certain point
when we remember the formless realm
and prefer it.

Embrace Sadness

Don’t sit so far away

From the fire

Hidden in the shadows

Like a ghost

Come and take your place

Here, in the light

Warm your cold bones

And let the fire’s love

Turn your loneliness

To beauty

No-one here is different from you

Each carries their loneliness

In some special way

Embrace whatever ails you

And even though

Sadness hurts

Don’t move away from it

But let it be what it is

And in it’s own sweet time

It will move on.

dark clouds

there are days
when dark clouds
of despondency
hang overhead
all day they just hang there
taunting me
with their heaviness
threatening rain

all i can really do
is accept them

fighting causes such pain

why should i be cheerful?
what is this expectation
that life is a smile and a laugh?

life is a hard journey
and a cruel test.
when the vast ocean
finds itself
in a tiny jar
it doesn’t complain
but it hurts
to be captured in something so small

why did i come here with no wings?
just these legs
that stick me to the ground

at times
nothingness seems appealing
and then i get yanked back
into the beauty
of all this
and i forget
this despondency

when the world throws arrows

when the world throws its arrows of discontent
keep still
when the thunder rages
and the dark clouds loom all around menacingly
keep still, keep still
when the chaos of the storm arrives
and destroys everything
keep still, keep still, keep still
when the madness, the mayhem, the raging
spins round and round
like a wild tornado
and sucks the world into itself
keep still, keep still, keep still, keep still

and when peace returns
and silence covers the valley
keep still
don’t move from stillness
don’t move from silence

chased by ghosts

chased by hungry ghosts
even the cold wind
following him everywhere
the crisp leaves
cackling behind him
dragging him backwards
always backwards
the moaning
of the past
like a siren
in the fog

in the end he relented
and stopped all fighting
lay down and let the ghosts
catch him, let the clouds
envelope him

and in that envelopment
he dissolved
the ghosts dissolved
the cold wind turned to warm glow
and the leaves lay still
and peaceful

Ah! if only it were that easy
to rid oneself of the past.

fallen from the sky

there are times
when i slip back into a story
and i forget the radiant
nature of presence
in those times
i feel like a bird
fallen from the sky
waking up in a cage

most of the stories
are about failure
and a life missed
and they always carry the weight
of poor me

to be ruled by stories
is a kind of lottery

and I refuse to be
subjected to a crap game

so i wait, patiently
until the story clouds pass
and some invisible hand
opens the cage
and i can once again
fly free