time based and body bound

what are we
beyond all this?

locked up in these shells
time based and body bound

subject to cosmic laws
we don’t understand

we grapple and struggle
to make sense of this
we plead with the wise
to explain
our predicament

we search the heavens
for company

but we remain
time based and body bound
each of us
a momentary appearance

in the mind of god

each time i try and
understand all this
my mind collapses
and i am left without words.

i don’t want to bring you down but…

almost everything is bullshit
but someone has to say it
over and over again
we are trained to get caught up
and hooked in to all this

but really
it is an existential truth
almost everything is bullshit

the layers that cover the truth
are endless
but if you relentlessly search
without end
you will surely find
that nothing is true or real

except the nameless, formless
in which everything appears

almost everything else is bullshit
although some is less bull
and more shit.

excuse me for my bluntness
but i had to get it out of my system
in case you thought
i believed anything.

In San Jose, California. Singing songs of sadness, love, truth and freedom.

dark clouds

there are days
when dark clouds
of despondency
hang overhead
all day they just hang there
taunting me
with their heaviness
threatening rain

all i can really do
is accept them

fighting causes such pain

why should i be cheerful?
what is this expectation
that life is a smile and a laugh?

life is a hard journey
and a cruel test.
when the vast ocean
finds itself
in a tiny jar
it doesn’t complain
but it hurts
to be captured in something so small

why did i come here with no wings?
just these legs
that stick me to the ground

at times
nothingness seems appealing
and then i get yanked back
into the beauty
of all this
and i forget
this despondency

when the world throws arrows

when the world throws its arrows of discontent
keep still
when the thunder rages
and the dark clouds loom all around menacingly
keep still, keep still
when the chaos of the storm arrives
and destroys everything
keep still, keep still, keep still
when the madness, the mayhem, the raging
spins round and round
like a wild tornado
and sucks the world into itself
keep still, keep still, keep still, keep still

and when peace returns
and silence covers the valley
keep still
don’t move from stillness
don’t move from silence

nowhere to hide

there is nowhere to hide
from your own sun
it is there always
shining the light of truth
and casting the shadows
that terrify you
but it is not the sun
that scares you
it is the shadows

look friend, take a minute and think,
ignore the shadows
they are but ghosts

and keep your eyes and heart
set upon the sun

that is where the peace
and the love is.

I May Die Laughing and Crying

All we really know is
This one moment in eternity
This raw uncensored experience
That lasts for a breath in
And a breath out
And then
We disappear back
Into emptiness

All we know is
One moment in eternity

Yet we cannot see this preciousness
And we struggle and fight
And sink into our stories

There is no way
I can wrap up the whole of life
Or even try and understand it

Sometimes I just stand in awe
At the whole thing
And at other times
I am filled with an existential misery

The truth is I swing between these poles
Like a crazy trapeze artist.

I may die laughing and crying.

chased by ghosts

chased by hungry ghosts
even the cold wind
following him everywhere
the crisp leaves
cackling behind him
dragging him backwards
always backwards
the moaning
of the past
like a siren
in the fog

in the end he relented
and stopped all fighting
lay down and let the ghosts
catch him, let the clouds
envelope him

and in that envelopment
he dissolved
the ghosts dissolved
the cold wind turned to warm glow
and the leaves lay still
and peaceful

Ah! if only it were that easy
to rid oneself of the past.

fallen from the sky

there are times
when i slip back into a story
and i forget the radiant
nature of presence
in those times
i feel like a bird
fallen from the sky
waking up in a cage

most of the stories
are about failure
and a life missed
and they always carry the weight
of poor me

to be ruled by stories
is a kind of lottery

and I refuse to be
subjected to a crap game

so i wait, patiently
until the story clouds pass
and some invisible hand
opens the cage
and i can once again
fly free

with heart wide open

with his heart wide open
he faced the battlefield
and even though there was death
and suffering all around him
he had made his decision
to never close the door again
and he just allowed it all in

and thus the world destroyed in him
all that was false and defended
until only
the cleanest and purest
kind of love

Leave the Prison

First you must become dis-illusioned
Only then can the illusion begin to dissolve
Becoming dis-illusioned is, it seems,
Both a blessing and a curse
A blessing if it brings the momentum
To go all the way HOME to a true state of being
But a curse if it leaves you in the limbo
Of between the worlds, neither
In one world nor another.
Don’t get stuck between the worlds
Press on
It is not enough to be dis-illusioned
You have to climb out of the world completely
You have to leave the prison
Not just realize you are in it.
There is a big difference.