the secret chamber

i searched and found nothing
i stopped and found everything

though the searching and the stopping
were linked like night and day

and you have to become sick of searching
before you can stop

it is in the complete cessation
of all searching
that the door opens
and majesty is revealed
when wanting, needing
desire and longing
perish into the
deepest acceptance

grace happens

the secret chamber
of god’s heart
can only be entered
when there is no
movement
forward or backwards

this is presence and openness.

 

 

on your knees

the strongest people
i have met
are the ones who have been broken
the ones who found
power and strength
through humility
but there are those, sadly,
who have been defeated
by life
the ones who
cannot find
grace and humility
they feel brokenness as
some kind of loss

this is all a sign
that if you try to hang on
to your story
of how it should be
in the face of life’s great movement
you will never be free or happy

life will bring you to your knees
that is its great and challenging
beauty
the warrior’s task is to find
the power and grace
while, or she,
is down there.

my advice is:

don’t get up
but instead, live from a powerful humility
that sees beyond
all the stories of upholding
who anyone is.

breathing under water

is it possible
to meet life fully
and let the ocean
drown you
until you learn to breathe
under water?

or must we all
try and fight back
the waves
as they crash
upon us?

oh! the endless
pushing back
against the world
makes you so weary

you cannot stop the water
so i say

let it in
let it all in
surrender yourself completely
let it break your heart wide open
until there is nothing left
to protect
and there you will find
the freedom
you seek

there are only two choices
breakdown or breakthrough.

From Being Everywhere To Being Somewhere

Some folks seem to love this life
They relish in the formness of it all
And gather things, and experiences
Like they belong here

Oh! how they like to play

While others, they don’t get along so well
There are some who don’t seem to get on well
At all
In fact they don’t take to being
In form one bit

Not everyone is the same

You see, being consciousness
And finding yourself
In form, even with its sensory delights,
Is not easy
From being everywhere
To suddenly being somewhere
Is tough

And many folks want to fly free
Beyond all this
I can understand that desire

I say liberate now while you wear this coat
Step out of the game
And off the wheel

Only the vastness of spiritual awakening
Can put an end to this endless cycle.

 

 

from the mountain to the marketplace

i too have glimpsed the eternal undying
nature of consciousness

in a moment of enlightenment
i saw time dripping into form
from the timeless
and i sat, stunned like kabir
at the turning of the wheel

yet still i had to return
to the mundane
to the shop and bank
to this life and all its suffering

and still mind chatted away
oblivious to the wonders i had seen
or the glory of my cosmic vision
it was as though my mind
had a loathing for all things
it didn’t comprehend

maybe it has glimpsed its own demise?

and thus my life became
a dance between
the formless and the form
and i realized this

mind is tenacious
it wont let go it’s steely grip easily
mind is a trickster
it will tell you, you have found gold
but it will be a yellow wrapper
mind does not want your liberation
but will tell you it does
and will abandon you
at the final moment

but don’t get me wrong
mind is a great friend and support
in this world
just don’t trust it
to tell you
who you really are
or what the heck is going on

so what am am i saying?

i am saying it is easy to catch a glimpse
of the ineffable beyond
or the great wheel turning in the heavens
but it is quite another bringing that
realization into your affairs
in the market place
or when someone cuts you up
on the road
but if your spiritual truth
doesn’t make it into your daily life
as a living reality
it’s just philosophy
not revolution.

turned towards god

the cat upstairs is nearing the end of his life
our neighbor asked me to feed him a few times
over the last couple of days

he is very fragile and totters around gently
eats a little and stumbles away

all he seems to want is love
so we just sit and i stroke him
silently

when animals draw near the end
they get very quiet
i saw this look some years ago
with my wife’s mother

it was as though she had turned her face
towards god
and was already leaving us
there was no fear and no regret

there is a certain point
when we remember the formless realm
and prefer it.

All Unfolding Perfectly

I have come to the conclusion
That life has no meaning –
And therein lies its exquisite beauty
And its terrible horror.

We are the only thing that sees
Beauty or Horror
For the Eternal One
It is all the same
It is us who call
One thing suffering
And another thing grace
But to the Eternal One
It is all the same
It is us who long for
Things to be different
Or to have more time
Or to change some part of reality
But to the Eternal One
It is all unfolding perfectly

We find this so hard to hear.

cherish everything

to live fully
and peacefully
wisely and lovingly
to be here, now
in this moment
to end the tyranny
of the loop of stories
that run endlessly
in your head
dragging you backwards
to what no longer exists
to let the dangling carrot
of some mythical future
fall helplessly to the ground
there is but one key
that unlocks the door
it was the wise
krishnamurti who said
i don’t mind what happens.’
it was my wife who said
cherish everything.’

i took both of them seriously
and even though
these phrases hurt like hell
when i applied them
and my mind screamed ‘NO!’
i did it over and over
and eventually
even my tyrannous mind
went quiet
and i began to cherish everything
and even the horror of it all
became included.

so now i have a mantra,
a simple phrase i use
when the monkey
on my back starts whispering
‘this shouldn’t be happening.’

‘cherish everything,’ i say
and he shuts up.

When the Pursuit of Truth Burns Everything

When one day you realize
That ninety-nine percent of human stuff
Is projection
And that it is a rare human being
Who sees through a clear lens

And you decide that
This is the one percent
You really want to be part of

So you pursue truth
Like a tiger stalks it’s prey

But truth burns your whole life up
And destroys every illusion
You held dear

Until you are marooned on a tiny raft
Adrift on a vast ocean
Of meaninglessness

And then the unthinkable happens…
The raft itself disappears
And for one moment
You are utterly alone
In a universe of nothing

And that is when you get it
And all notion of ninety-nine or one percent
All tigers and prey,
All seeking, all burning
All fires and all illusion
Vanishes

And you return to sweeping the floor
Or running the errands
Or doing the dishes
Or carrying the water.