enjoying the unformed realm

this poetry is an elusive trickster
when i want it to be there
it disappears

it does not respond
to command

but instead
seems to live it’s own life
freely unconcerned
with what i want

any sign of wanting
on my part
and it’s off
hiding in the ether
enjoying the unformed realm

so what can i do?
i have no plan
not building a career
or a platform
not trying to be anything
or get anywhere

no

i simply have to allow the waves
to rise and fall
guided as they are
by some unseen hand
some mysterious intelligence

the same intelligence that runs the whole show.

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between a rock and a soft place

in my most silent moments
of quiet reflection
i see a life passing in a flash
always just out of reach

some dreams lie shattered
on the floor
and others hang emblazoned
upon the wall
the majesty of brokenness fixes everything

and now it all melts into the same ocean

somewhere between
resignation and acceptance
is where i live
i don’t struggle to swim
no longer concerned with being anything
or anyone
no illusion of anything but this
tender bitter sweet
existence
unfathomable and fleeting

the union we seek is always here
the love we yearn for never left us
we never left the garden
it was just a thought
a momentary lapse of gratitude

only love is real.

Persistent and Convincing Show

You catch a glimpse
Of something different
In the midst of the regularity
It strikes you
And leaves an impression
It’s as if, for at least a moment,
The world you see, hear and feel,
Has vanished
You may call it love
Or truth
A vision or
A momentary flash of illumination
But there it is, shockingly real
Suddenly
You see the whole world
With different eyes
New eyes
Fresh eyes
Awake eyes

And then it’s gone
And you return
To this persistent and convincing show

Was it real?
Or just a dream?

Some pursue this vision
For the rest of their lives
And some turn their backs and return to the ordinary world
And stay there forever
If you pursue it long enough
Eventually the old world vanishes
And becomes the dream it really is.

The Little Man

Oh Life!
As each day passes
I slip into ever more love
Of all things,
Beyond what I choose or don’t choose.
I see the whole show
The entire embrace
And the majesty
Of the tapestry you weave

Each day I say less and less
And each day this weary heart
Fractures and opens
A little more
And the ocean of eternal Love
Pours in
And drowns the little man
Clinging hopelessly to his raft

I cannot truly speak it as it is
And some days 
I long to lie down
In your pastures and go to sleep
Peacefully
As the sun kisses my face with it’s beautiful warmth

 

love and death – the beauty and the agony

we are drawn to love 
like moths to the flame
and that flame is death 
we are designed to carry love into death
and invited to retract from neither
to be willingly broken, to love anyway
knowing that one day
it will all shatter into a thousand pieces
and transform into love’s absence
or move into the heart for permanent residency
this is the heroic goal of each human

the agony of love, the beauty of love
both are inevitable.

Just found out a fellow musician and husband of spiritual teacher Unmani has died suddenly in Goa. Robert was/is a great musician and just released his first album about two days ago. And then he left, leaving Unmani and a very young son.
My heart goes out to Unmani and his family.

Amoda and I talk about this often and live with the potential reality, particularly as I have been ill before and even now have potential heart and liver issues that have been flagged up as problems further down the line.
So often the men go early.

But what to do?

We are drawn to love, human beings are drawn to love like moths to the flame. And that flame is death.
We are designed to carry love into death, and to retract from neither.
To be willingly broken, to love anyway, knowing that one day it will shatter into a thousand pieces and transform into love’s absence, or move into the heart for permanent residency, this is the heroic goal of the human.

The agony of love, the beauty of love.

Here is his album, it sounds wonderful. So sad..

https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/roberthanuman

untether and run free

the heart, weary of being tamed
longs for the freedom of the wild
running here and there
wherever love may lead
untethered like a wild mustang

but the tethered mind
says no
‘later,’ it says
‘first we must attend to business
and seek safety.’

ah! so many souls
caught betwixt and between
pulled incessantly one way
and dragged back the other

i say
the mind offers so much
yet cannot deliver freedom
don’t be deceived
by it’s fine words and confident display

go where the wild winds blow
and find safety beyond mind
untether and run for the hills
let the wind make you crazy
until freedom becomes you

only then can you return to the city.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

From me here in Sausalito, California, to you wherever you are, may you be well, joyous and uplifted in 2018, and fly into your truth more and more.

The world needs your freedom.

Thank you for liking and reading my poems over this year, I truly appreciate all the comments interest, I still find it surprising to be doing this, but it definitely feels right for me.

With great respect and love.

Kavi

 

two faces

i have seen the face of love
and i have seen the face of fear

i have felt the liberating power of love
and the contraction and tightness of fear

i have stood naked and vulnerable
as love’s breath filled me
and nearly killed me

and i have stood still, trembling,
as fear occupied my body
with it’s dread
and it’s convincing words
whispered and screamed
in increasing urgency

only one of those faces
has any kindness

and although both of them burn
only one of those fires
can transform
sorrow to joy

fear is ego’s demonic face
and love’s arch enemy
for it knows in the face of love it will wither and perish
so it spins and twists and cavorts, writhes and cheats and screams
to stay alive and in control

love does not care, it is too busy blazing a trail
like a star across the night sky.

Photo by Kristopher Roller on Unsplash

dissolve fear to dust

no matter what fear tries
what devilish tactics it unleashes
or how corrupting it appears
no matter how much it splits us
into separate islands
it will never
eradicate that which heralds it’s death

for love is the energy of life itself
pure in its essence
pristine and unimaginable
like the sun
it will never go out

and fear is just a shadow
a ghost that haunts us and terrifies us
until we see
that the ghost is nothing more
than a wound wearing a white sheet
making a lot of scary noise

our task, yours and mine
is to stop running away from all fear
to turn around
and hold out our sun arms
and offer a love so powerful
it dissolves fear to dust
in an instant

the worst fear is on the inside of man
in his own 
heart and mind.

the river

i am in some kind of vast river
sometimes floating serenely downstream
now turning a corner
and faced with crazy rapids
that threaten to engulf me
i get caught between rocks
in eddies and nooks
and must wait patiently
for freedom to come
as if by itself
my struggle makes it worse
and my acceptance makes it easier
but still nothing changes it
it started when i arrived
and i expect this river
to carry me all the way
to the ocean
from the spring of birth
to the ocean of death
always navigating the river

oh! mysterious intelligence
that brought me here
what do you want from me?

Photo by Dan Roizer on Unsplash

eternity and time

i have lived on the outside of things
all my life
consumed by a loathing of the mediocre
carrying a fire
in my belly
and a heart that burns
for freedom

for some of us
being incarnated in a time based organism
trying to squeeze consciousness
into this tiny shell
is like trying to fit
eternity into an hour glass
it won’t happen

my awakening came
when i realized
that i am not one thing or another
not eternal once
and then become a human hour glass
but both
eternity and time itself

i knew myself as BOTH!

and all my problems fell away
and the fire that burned for freedom
became a love that loved everything
and everyone
there was no more conflict within
no more trying to squeeze myself
into being human
and no more desire to escape

it is simple
i am eternity
arising as form
briefly
destined to return
to eternity
while here as form
i am still eternity
the wave is still the ocean
and the ocean is always the wave.