love is like the sun

even when you can’t see it
the sun is there
it is the essence of everything
without it nothing happens
nothing will live

and love, what of love?

love is the same

even when you can’t see it
love is there
it is the essence of everything
without it nothing happens
nothing will live

why do we struggle so much
denying this?
why do we spend our lives
fighting with love?
we would never
try and fight the sun.

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love cannot be possessed

love cannot be possessed
but my do we try

like a free bird caught
we cage love
and give it rules
and tidy it up
and make it safe

and kill it

but love cannot be possessed
it is as free as that little bird
or the wind

and if you try and control it
or cage it
something will surely die, slowly
or with great haste

better still to honor and serve love
to be love’s facilitator and conduit
and to allow the ebbing and flowing
of human activity to be as it is

the truth is we cannot possess anything

Transformation of the Grape

It takes time for the wine to mature
It cannot be rushed or forced
There are no shortcuts
You need the right ingredients
And patience
And trust
But with enough time, trust and patience
One day there will be
A beautiful bouquet
And the humble
And seemingly separate grape
Will have merged with the other grapes
And transformed into something
Utterly miraculous.

All transformation is the same
Don’t be in such a hurry.

Consider this metaphor deeply.

Ancient wine cellar

reflections on love’s brilliant sun

Reflections on what happened to me in 2001/2 when love’s brilliant sun burst into my life. It was like being in a Rumi Poem. Exactly like that. And I was both the poet and the subject of the poem. It was an extraordinary time. I have some poetry from that period that I will publish here, but first let me give you an idea of what it was like.

when love really arrived in my life
it didn’t come with conditions
or superficial sweetness
it didn’t come with games
or bargains
it wasn’t love
wrapped up as need.

NO.

the love that arrived
was a FIRE
that incinerated everything
within me, and in my life,
that was false
it uncovered all the cracks
and holes
and shone the brilliant light
of the sun
on them.

it tore at me
it tore at
my 40 years
of building and maintaining
defences
and it threw demolished everything
and threw it on the fire

i lost it all
in that fire
my marriage
my home
my history
my friends
my superficial mask and
my reasonableness

and most of all
i lost my safety

but i gained

my freedom……(part two soon)

 

the secret chamber

i searched and found nothing
i stopped and found everything

though the searching and the stopping
were linked like night and day

and you have to become sick of searching
before you can stop

it is in the complete cessation
of all searching
that the door opens
and majesty is revealed
when wanting, needing
desire and longing
perish into the
deepest acceptance

grace happens

the secret chamber
of god’s heart
can only be entered
when there is no
movement
forward or backwards

this is presence and openness.

 

 

this exquisite discomfort

why can’t you show me your brokenness?
don’t you know that your vulnerability
and your wounds, embraced,
are what makes you beautiful

just stay there, for a moment,
don’t move away from this
exquisite discomfort
and let it shine
like a diamond
with all its edges and errors
beautifully imperfect

don’t hide forever

don’t.
hide.
forever.

the pull to grace

we are born to innocence
and we fall from that grace
we become someone
with a name and a story
and we carry the wounds
and the pain
of our fall

and for many
that is it
for life
just the story
of the fall from grace

but for some
there is a pull
to find that grace again

what beauty that is!
in this gross world
to remember, even as a
delicate fragrance on the wind,
the grace of innocence,
and to begin a search for it.

that search IS the grace
that search IS the innocence
searching for itself

for it was never really lost
only hiding
until it can return to the light

i hope you understand

cherish everything

to live fully
and peacefully
wisely and lovingly
to be here, now
in this moment
to end the tyranny
of the loop of stories
that run endlessly
in your head
dragging you backwards
to what no longer exists
to let the dangling carrot
of some mythical future
fall helplessly to the ground
there is but one key
that unlocks the door
it was the wise
krishnamurti who said
i don’t mind what happens.’
it was my wife who said
cherish everything.’

i took both of them seriously
and even though
these phrases hurt like hell
when i applied them
and my mind screamed ‘NO!’
i did it over and over
and eventually
even my tyrannous mind
went quiet
and i began to cherish everything
and even the horror of it all
became included.

so now i have a mantra,
a simple phrase i use
when the monkey
on my back starts whispering
‘this shouldn’t be happening.’

‘cherish everything,’ i say
and he shuts up.

i cried back to life

when i realized
how i kept love at bay
and shut its grace
out of my life
and how i defended
the walls of my heart
as closely as possible
i cried
and those tears
that flowed for many a day
brought great nourishment
back to a dry and barren desert

since then new life has grown
in a rich and fertile land
such great abundance and joy aplenty
and enough to share with
anyone who passes by.

love and air

i cannot tell the difference
between love and air
i need both
to survive
both are equally neglected
and taken for granted
but i imagine
if we removed love
it would have the same effect
as removing the air
we would suffocate

you don’t really notice something
until its gone

but love and air
the invisible forces
are what holds it all together

we woud do well
to remember this
in these hateful days