if you ever give up

if you ever give up on all this
or become so weary
of the endless struggle of life
im not going to say
‘come on its not that bad’
or try and get you on your feet
and get you back to the battle field

no.

i will sit quietly beside you
and maybe your head
will rest gently on my shoulder
and we will simply sit
in the silence of quiet acceptance

i will not try and fix you
because there is nothing wrong
and nothing to fix
nothing is broken
and in need of repair

you do not need that
all you really need
is the space to be
and in that acceptance
everything is as it is
and nature itself
does whatever it must do

and you are that.

5 Days Is Eternity Without My Lover

5 days is a long time
Without my beloved
It may seem like nothing
To you
But you know nothing
Of this love
And 5 days
Is an eternity
For ecstatic lovers
Each minute stretched
To its agonizing end

All I have is this poetry
To describe my madness
And satisfy my deepest
Longing.

In our early days
Of ecstatic union
She went to India
And we both nearly died
Of separation
She had to hurry home
To save both our lives.

Believe me
It’s not ordinary
And it’s a love
Worth shouting about
And celebrating

And thats all I’m doing.

the journey that never ends

we struggled to get here,
to the west coast of america
we were drawn like the pioneers were drawn
and we threw in our old life
such as it was
we sold and gave away our stuff,
managed to get a long visa
and, with barely any money
and riding the tiger
of impermanence and insecurity
we arrived….

but after these last few years
of continual change
we have become torn open
and we are now pretty lost
and still searching
for something…

it’s a strange thing to be found and lost
at the same time
we are like mystic urban nomad misfits

and wisdom is the day you realise that
life is a journey that never ends…
it just rolls along until one day it’s done

sometimes i get weary of all this
and long to just lay my head down
and sleep for ever
i get tired of the human obsession with self
in others and myself

i’m not as optimistic as i used to be

but, like everyone else,
i keep putting one foot in front of the other
and dangling carrots of hope
just far enough
in front of my face 
that i walk on..
kavi-beach-stinson-1

 

when the head says no but the heart says yes

ah! the endless conflict of man
the dance between
apparent opposites
when the head says ‘no, be careful, don’t do that!’
and the heart says,’hey this sounds good, an adventure!’
and the soul, oh the soul! 
says, ‘why worry!’ it’s all god

even your head, your own ego,
has your best interests at heart. 
it is trying to protect you from danger
but does it always know what is right or good for you? or is it just being
over cautious and actually keeping you in a prison?

i am suspicious of my own ego
it masquerades as my friend
and, while it has some favourable qualities
adventure, growth and the gamble
are not any of them

and i can honestly say that
many times I have had to overrule
my own cautious and neurotic ego
and it has always worked out

i have learned to trust my heart and soul
and tell my head to serve that
god-speed

let loose your imagination

let loose your imagination
untether the ropes that hold it down
and, like a giant balloon,
let it soar skyward
but hold on to its ropes
and do not let it escape you 
let it carry you
to a destination
only your soul
and god knows.

do not deny it
or hide from it
for a trapped dream
and a denied imagination
eventually turns
upon you
and starts to devour
your life
you feed it
or it will eat you

let it loose
and then serve it
with your courage
and willingness
to stretch beyond
your comfort zone

and your life will suddenly
have purpose and meaning
and you will grow new branches 
and flower into a beautiful 
act of creation.
kavi-arms-silhouette

in service to the feminine

today, this solstice day
finds me ever deeper in love
and in awe of my beloved
consort

i am a man in service to this woman
i understand that the masculine 
must serve the feminine
within each human
and within the world
and i honour that truth
without losing any
of my masculinity

when i feel the power 
of this service
it uplifts my very being
to the archetypal realm
and it feels as though
she and i are on a mythic journey
rebalancing energies
within and without

for when the self important 
humans
rule the earth
we are lost
and the only answer
is wisdom and service to love.
img_4219

never tired of love

i never tire
of love
for this reason

it has a sweetness
and depth
that calms
even the most
stormy sea

it makes
even the driest
desert
gush forth
its quenching tears

love circles everyone
offering itself
but not everyone
drinks from the well

i am one
who saw the spring
and ran towards it
and drank and drank
until the healing waters 
cleansed all the fear
and shame
away

and now 
i never tire of love
i see it in the face
of all
and in the fabric
of the universe
fullsizerender

each day is a blessing with you

each day i spend with you, beloved
is a blessing i carry with me
whether i am having
a good day
or a bad day
makes no difference
still you bring a blessing
of joy to my life

you healed a heart
that had been betrayed
and still believed
in betrayal
your love has
been clean and pure
and drawn out
all the toxic wounds
i carried

you have healed me
back to innocence
and now there is
just this vast appreciation
i have
of each day i spend
walking this human realm
with you
amoda b and w

enough with the poems show us the pictures

Welcome to my world!  Sausalito, San Francisco and California.
We are here, after a long year of visa application, my wife writing her book, visits to Costa Rica, UK and Sweden, we are successfully living here now, and will be here for the foreseeable future.
And boy oh boy are we happy about that. The last year has been utterly exhausting and very challenging, on many different levels.
But I will spare you the details and indulge those stories no longer.

This present moment is what really matters since its the only thing that is accessible. Here are some pics from the last week. What a place. The sky is big, things change fast, the fog rolls in, the light is extraordinary, and there are some great shots.

indescribable love

i cannot describe this love
we have
nothing that i can say
touches it
or even points to it.

whatever it is
it has taken 
both our lives
and demolished
all that was before
and all that was separate

there is something 
we call love
and both of us
are servants of it
willingly surrendered

on the surface
we have separate bodies
and in this world of form
there is a you
and an I
but we inhabit
many worlds and
many dimensions
and in those
we are dancing
particles of
cosmic light
galaxies turning
super nova
eternal beings
beyond space time
we are inside outside
limitless
wonders…

human is such a small
part of the picture
of our love.
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