pulled to surrender

today i will sit quietly

and watch the hummingbirds

buzz busily about

i may do nothing

all day

but sit and wonder

ah! if only this were the truth

instead i am pulled into the world

with its complications and demands

a world that tugs of these emotions

and insecurities

i have never found a better answer

to life’s questions

than surrender.

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the poetry of small things done beautifully

there is a sweetness in simplicity
when you slow down enough
to become present
to each and every action
without distracted mind
without wishing you were some place else
but doing the thing you are doing
fully
i learned this through the great art
of washing up
it brings me such great pleasure
this simple joy
is presence
a communion with life
an undoing doing
i don’t rush
or neglect
neither do i fret
i just pay attention
and allow it to happen
as if by itself
such is
the poetry of small things done beautifully

i pray this secret joy
is not forgotten
in the pursuit
of importance.

Photo by Catt Liu on Unsplash

we carry the paradox

on one hand it is at it is,
perfect in itself
and as life unfolds
moment by moment
it seems to be moved by it’s own intelligence
it will last long beyond our arrival
or departure

and yet on the other hand
so much is broken
and man’s destructive hand
has swept across the earth
with arrogant intensity
forgetting he is the mere custodian
and not the owner

we who see
must carry the paradox
of the perfection
and the imperfection
with grace
and with great compassion
knowing the futility
of man’s grasping at eternity
his desperate clutching at power
and his utter blindness
to what beauty is already here

all it takes is one step backwards
and a breath
to see the magnificence 
and the perfection
even amidst the horror
and the suffering.

*please note – when i use the term ‘man’ here, although it’s generally used to signify all humanity, i am leaning more and more towards it actually meaning MAN. The history of humanity has, in the last few thousands of years, as far as i can see, been the history of the masculine paradigm. suppression of the feminine, both inside each individual, and outwardly in the relentless and ruthless domination of women, has brought us to where we are. that is not ‘all humanity,’ that is mankind, the masculine with all its demented narcissism. i see a world that is changing, because it will have to. and that means the end of masculine, patriarchal domination and the rise of the new feminine. what that looks like and how it changes things i do not know. but it’s in the air and it is coming. so yes i very much mean ‘men’ when i say men.

man’s greatest enemy

what is this terrible affliction of man..
he is the most discontent of creatures
yet he is gifted with the most extraordinary of powers
he has the mind of god
yet he cannot find peace
he spends his days in judgement of others
or himself
he tears the very fabric of his world to pieces
to feather his own nest
while all around him suffer
he does not know himself
yet he presumes to know others
he claimed the throne
yet he cannot even rule himself

i am at a loss
and i am done with some false hope
that man can save himself
from his greatest enemy.
himself.

The Search for Grace

Only grace can allow us to see beauty
In the midst of horror
Only grace can open our steely hearts
In hell
Only grace can whisper yes
When the whole world screams NO!
Only grace can pour healing water
On the unquenchable fire
Only grace can shine a light
In the great darkness

So what then is this grace
That can offer so many miracles
For without it
Life would be unbearable
Grace makes existence bearable
Yet we do not know
What grace is?
There are no words, no nouns, no descriptions
No one has met grace
Yet here it is
Casting influence over all things
Surely it is this mysterious force
That gives all life it’s meaning

And the search for meaning is
The search for grace
The search for the undiscoverable
Radiance that underpins
All existence.

 

born to love

my love
while we still have this precious time together
before eternity tears us asunder
let us sit together here
under the night sky
as it pours down it’s magnificence
on our innocent heads
there will be a moment
as yet unknown
when we will part
and one of us will leave this realm
bound for distant shore
oh! the pain of that moment
when we say goodbye

to have loved in this way
to have found each other after so long
and fallen so far in
we disappeared
given up all notion of self
and yet to have found ourselves completely
there has never been a love like this
let our ecstatic embrace send ripples into the world
and ring throughout forever
let it be said
‘they loved completely without fear of death.’

India, approx 2004

 

Born to Do Nothing

Terrified of meaninglessness
We create ourselves
As the pinnacle of life
We built a world
That uses doing
As being
Because we need meaning
But we were born
To do nothing
Just enjoy existence
And take care of our bodies
And our souls
To look after each other
And to bathe in the innocence
Of love’s sweet fragrance
All this that we have created
We have done in our own image
It is a monster
A machine
That eats everything
And everyone
And deludes us all
Into thinking there is meaning in it

I am so sorry to tell you
There isn’t

To rest as a speck in eternity
Surrounded by forever
Infinite distance and time on all sides
To know this, to feel it and to live it
And to maintain some composure
As the waves of awareness
Flood into and through you
To be innocent
And pure of heart
That is the only meaning
I can find.

surrounded by eternity

last night as i was preparing for bed
i had pause to stop
and in that stopping
a subtle yet strong
awareness came upon me
i realized just how tiny i am
both in terms of size
and in terms of time
i am a breath
surrounded by eternity
and i felt how
exquisite and terrifying that is
and why humans clutch and grasp at power
desperate for meaning
in the vastness
for myself i felt no agony
nor desperation
i just allowed the waves
of awareness
to wash over me

the truth is we can do nothing
but realize it
and embrace it all
the wonder, the horror
the suffering, the joy
the love and the loss
embrace it all
with a tender openness
and let it pierce
our defended hearts and minds
until we see the same dilemma
in each other

love is the only remedy.

Photo by Robson Hatsukami Morgan on Unsplash

the garden is inside us

there is a fragrant and innocent garden
in each of us
the same garden adam and eve played and loved in
it didn’t vanish
but disappeared deep inside
and became forgotten
as we fell further and further
into the mind’s obsession with itself
we lost the silken and delicate thread
that joins us all together
and now we wander like ghosts
haunted and hungry
with nothing to feed on
but each other

but there is a garden inside us
and all it takes to remember
is a little tenderness
and a little openness
and the garden begins to grow

walk with me
on the gentle grass
in the meadow under the willow
when the hummingbird dances
and the swallows soar
let us celebrate our joyful innocence
and open wonder
my heart aches with this love
knowing the garden is here always

sometimes even the cruelest beings
catch the early morning scent
as it wafts through their heartless lives.