the secret chamber

i searched and found nothing
i stopped and found everything

though the searching and the stopping
were linked like night and day

and you have to become sick of searching
before you can stop

it is in the complete cessation
of all searching
that the door opens
and majesty is revealed
when wanting, needing
desire and longing
perish into the
deepest acceptance

grace happens

the secret chamber
of god’s heart
can only be entered
when there is no
movement
forward or backwards

this is presence and openness.

 

 

ushers of the new

come out from the shadows
and shine
this is the time
of the great new awakening
the old ways are tired and done
and the longing to live
in harmony
and peace
is upon us

when the sun shines
most brilliantly
the shadows seem so real
but they hide
unable to stand the test of the fire

we are the ushers of the new
all of us
and all that is really required
is to burn all our lies and delusions
and to come to rest in our
sacred heart

everything else will happen
by itself through grace
and divine orchestration.

The thin veil between form and formless

Everyone, and everything
Coming and going
Through the veil
This thin invisible whisper
That stands between
This world
And Emptiness
An eternal wheel
Of coming and going
It staggers the mind
And opens the heart
To the personal
It is agony
To the soul
It is exquisite.

this exquisite discomfort

why can’t you show me your brokenness?
don’t you know that your vulnerability
and your wounds, embraced,
are what makes you beautiful

just stay there, for a moment,
don’t move away from this
exquisite discomfort
and let it shine
like a diamond
with all its edges and errors
beautifully imperfect

don’t hide forever

don’t.
hide.
forever.

I’m So Sorry

I wrote a song recently as a result of something I read that broke me open.
It was the tragic real life tale of a man who lost his wife and her unborn baby, their new born baby and their two other young children, in a car accident when a young man carelessly jumped a red light. The tragedy unfolded as each of them died, one after the other.
The man, who wasn’t in the car, was left alone. Everything gone, everyone gone.
That is as much as I read. I didn’t need the details. It wasn’t about the details. I know he got a huge outpouring of love and I pray that he is able to recover in some way and live a life.

But I was utterly shocked by how shocked he must have been. I simply couldn’t imagine how he felt, or the chasm that must have opened up and swallowed him. It broke my heart open for him, and for all who suffer such tragedy. And then I really saw how true loving almost inevitably comes with great pain. When you truly love, at some point comes the letting go, it is inevitable.

But that is no reason not to love. Love, human or divine, is our greatest blessing and the greatest blessing we can offer the world.

So I wrote a song for him. Here are the lyrics. It is called I’m So Sorry.
I haven’t released the song yet, I am still working on it. When I do I may post it here.

I’m living like a river
Swimming like a stone
Trying to make it homeward
But I’m feeling so alone
My heart is like a whirpool
It’s taking everything
I don’t know what Im doing
I don’t think I can swim

I’m so sorry
It has to be this way

I find it hard to breathe here
Sometimes I think I’ll die
So I reach up to the heavens
And pretend that I can fly
But all I get is falling
Like someone clipped my wings
Down here I’m an angel
Down here the siren sings

I’m so sorry
It has to be this way

It feels like you’re inside me
Your living in my skin
And love is like the ocean
When you let it in
You’ve got to let it drown you
And take your breathe away
And when I heard your story
It made me want to pray

Im so sorry
It has to be this way

Dont you worry
No more

the pull to grace

we are born to innocence
and we fall from that grace
we become someone
with a name and a story
and we carry the wounds
and the pain
of our fall

and for many
that is it
for life
just the story
of the fall from grace

but for some
there is a pull
to find that grace again

what beauty that is!
in this gross world
to remember, even as a
delicate fragrance on the wind,
the grace of innocence,
and to begin a search for it.

that search IS the grace
that search IS the innocence
searching for itself

for it was never really lost
only hiding
until it can return to the light

i hope you understand

the heart hides in secret hope

The heart,
Under great duress and strain,
Grows hard and protected
It’s easy to withdraw
From the world
And build a wall
And try and hide behind it

But secretly and quietly
Every hard heart
And every wounded soul that hides
Yearns for tenderness
And love
Yearns for the innocence
It once knew

Even the hardest
And toughest,
Somewhere, deep inside,
Longs for union with love

Because everything
Is trying to get home,
And there is only one home.

on your knees

the strongest people
i have met
are the ones who have been broken
the ones who found
power and strength
through humility
but there are those, sadly,
who have been defeated
by life
the ones who
cannot find
grace and humility
they feel brokenness as
some kind of loss

this is all a sign
that if you try to hang on
to your story
of how it should be
in the face of life’s great movement
you will never be free or happy

life will bring you to your knees
that is its great and challenging
beauty
the warrior’s task is to find
the power and grace
while, or she,
is down there.

my advice is:

don’t get up
but instead, live from a powerful humility
that sees beyond
all the stories of upholding
who anyone is.

breathing under water

is it possible
to meet life fully
and let the ocean
drown you
until you learn to breathe
under water?

or must we all
try and fight back
the waves
as they crash
upon us?

oh! the endless
pushing back
against the world
makes you so weary

you cannot stop the water
so i say

let it in
let it all in
surrender yourself completely
let it break your heart wide open
until there is nothing left
to protect
and there you will find
the freedom
you seek

there are only two choices
breakdown or breakthrough.