when grace arrived

grace, as my wife once said,
is the absence of resistance
i loved that description so much
and became devoted to the task
of finding that grace
to the point where i stopped
fighting and arguing with life
i put down my arms
and ended the war

and what happened was astonishing
i lost nothing, i didn’t fall apart
or become less of a human being
in fact the opposite
i gained everything
i gained the world
i became whole
and a full human being
all the world became my lover
and a great intimacy arose in me
this intimacy you feel as you read these words
this honest openness came
when i put down my weapons
of mass destruction

and grace arrived

this world is unfathomable
and, if you can just stop struggling
and fighting with it,
will show you its beauty
even in the smallest of things.

 

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the greatest equality of all

i am a weary traveller
broken by the waves’
relentless pounding
the tumult of the ocean
that threatens to engulf
everything

i stand on deck
alone in existence
hands on the wheel
desperate for control
but looking out
through fearful eyes
at the storm that rages

i am broken
yet still i stand
clutching the wheel
not yet ready
to be swallowed up
and taken by the inevitable

lashed again and again
no land in sight
no sign of calm
just this eternal writhing
of the sea monster
with wild head and eyes
terrifying and inviting

i awaken, cold and hot
chilled to the bone
by life’s horror and beauty

we live in paradox
knowing our fate
and our predicament
yet living as though
that fate belonged to someone else
and we have been spared

oh! grand delusion
no-one is spared
this is the greatest equality of all.

The Gates of Wisdom

To fully live
You must shed every false notion
Of what love is

We were all taught about love
And matters of wisdom
By those who didn’t understand
The nature of reality
Except for those rare beings
Who had become conscious

That is not to belittle the fine work
Our parents and ancestors did
With what they were given
By their ancestors before them
In fact the opposite, we are honoring
Their great fortitude
In unenlightened times

But we are in a different world now
And our access to the deepest wisdom
Of what is truth and love
And what is illusion
Is upon us

And that means
We must go through a great unlearning
And unravelling

Until we come to
The Gates of Wisdom
And we must walk through those gates
EMPTY.

 

surrender the wilful ego

a kind of death must happen
for relationship to flower
but that death is no bad thing
it is nothing more than
giving up the need
to be right
or wrong

to surrender
the wilful ego
is the greatest gift
you can give your lover
and the world

it sounds so easy
but i invite you
to give it a try
in the heat
of the moment
when the battle
is at its peak…

i laid down my arms
some time ago
it was the best thing
i ever did

stand together as love

another morning of waking up
to tragedy
innocent people listening to their favorite music
lives taken apart for no reason
but some madness
maybe vengeance, who knows?
who knows what goes on in the mind of someone
who would kill so many,
with such ease?

it beggars belief
that insane men
full of bile and hate
can so easily lay their hands
on weapons that can kill so many
in minutes…

there is a sickness here
you can’t see it
or diagnose it
very easily

but its here
a sickness of the soul
an entire continent of strangers
all immigrants or sons and daughters
of a culture that has had its fleeting moment
and is now
like the roman empire itself
rapidly in decline
morally bankrupt
and sliding into chaos

and everyone is armed and dangerous

the corporate monsters and the ones
who run things behind the veil
the hedge funds and the 1%

don’t care about anything or anyone
and they love chaos and fear and hate

we will lose this endless secret, hidden war
if we close our hearts
and allow our minds to be stolen,

this war that is taking the world
is a war for the very soul
of each man and woman
who is alive now
or those who are to come
there is trouble coming
everywhere

we must not allow ourselves to
be manipulated by fear
only the power of love
and right action will see us through the darkness

i am sorry for all this
and i am sorry that this poem
has to address such things

but we either stand together as love
or we fall apart as fear
it’s really as simple as that.

be beautiful for no reason

you don’t have to do anything
or be anyone
you don’t have to become more
of what you are already
or achieve fame or notoriety

no

all you have to do is fall backwards
into what you naturally are
and rest
as your beautiful self

just be beautiful for no reason
except that you are here
as a manifestation
of the divine

you are a celebration
and every atom and particle
longs to dance and sing
in that celebration

don’t stand in the way.

cruel world worthy of your love

yes the world seems cruel and heartless
full of hate and war
driven mad by greed and fear
yes it’s all wrong
and we can’t even care for our own species
and yes
we just tear nature apart for our own gain

but

is this cruel world still worthy of your love?

or is it all too much?

is this what you signed up for?

maybe you have already decided this world
is too harsh, too cruel, too mean
and you have withdrawn your love
and now you just keep it to yourself
and the best you can do
is keep yourself protected
from all the pain

but this is a hopeless plan..

this is the trapped bird
locked in a cage
when what it needs

is to fly free
and abandon
all care

is this cruel world still worthy of your love?

oh yes! my friend
that is exactly
what you signed up for

the challenge you accepted before you came here was thus:

to open your heart whatever appeared before you
to stare hell in the eye and not flinch
or shut down for one moment
to love anyway
to see beyond all manifestation
and to radiate like a beacon of hope
so that others, lost in the storm,
may find their way home.

Surfing the Absolute and the Relative

My wife discusses the paradox of awakening.
‘Surfing the Absolute and the Relative.’

AMODA'S BLOG

There’s a fine line in surfing the absolute and the relative.

To be fully awake is to have fallen into the existential abyss of being in which all constructs that uphold the notion, perception and identity with a “separate self” are demolished, absolutely. This is the end of the story of “me” as you have known it, and the beginning of something very new. It’s a death and a rebirth. It’s the end of all inner division and the start of knowing yourself as inseparable from all that is (and this includes absolutely everything, however it appears, dark or light, blissful or painful). Now you move from wholeness and you are moved by wholeness. Personal will has been given to divine will and there is no more “me” fighting or arguing with the innate intelligence of Life.

To be fully human is to fully accept that your body-mind vehicle…

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let your heart break open

tear down the walls
of your heart
and be done with all this
defending and attacking
this protection
has done nothing
but keep you hidden from life
it was a trick you learned
but it didn’t work

you thought you could
protect yourself from pain
but it just killed you
and numbed you
and now you are here
terrified of your own shadow.

tear down the walls of your heart
and let the world in
let it flood the dry barren land
if it kills you
so what!
better to die of the truth
than live in the lie

but it won’t kill you
it will resurrect you
and bring you back
and give you wings
so you can fly.

if you ever give up

if you ever give up on all this
or become so weary
of the endless struggle of life
im not going to say
‘come on its not that bad’
or try and get you on your feet
and get you back to the battle field

no.

i will sit quietly beside you
and maybe your head
will rest gently on my shoulder
and we will simply sit
in the silence of quiet acceptance

i will not try and fix you
because there is nothing wrong
and nothing to fix
nothing is broken
and in need of repair

you do not need that
all you really need
is the space to be
and in that acceptance
everything is as it is
and nature itself
does whatever it must do

and you are that.